No child has control of who their parents are or what kind of an environment they will grow up in. Whether you are rich or poor, fat or skinny, have glasses or hearing aids, everyone can choose to be happy or to be sad. It is a daily decision that is up to you to make. I believe you have to find what will make you happy, don’t make excuses and always move forward.
I had many trials growing up, as do the rest of us. My life started out with only one loving parent. The other parent was always gone and loving in ways that shouldn’t be shown. I had to grow up really fast and I lost part of my childhood. Later when my mom remarried my duty of taking care of her had stopped because now she was married to a man who would never hurt her or us. It seemed like that was a good thing, but it was harder for me than anyone knew. My dad always said I was immature and a few years behind everyone else. I think that is where my passion for kids set in. I have always loved being around children and enjoyed them more than my peers. I now have 20 nieces and nephews. I have worked for childcare agencies and babysat my entire life. One day I hope to be able to build and own a free boys and girls club. This club would provide a safe haven for kids to go to where they can learn and live freely.
When I was seven, I found out that I had hearing problems. The doctors were unable to look into my tiny ear canals, even with infant sized instruments. It turned out that I had no eardrum in one ear and half an eardrum in the other. My first surgery was when I was about 8, not much younger than many of the children who attend Heartworks Kids. They made me a new eardrum and canal on the right side. I had three more surgeries on the left ear canal and they were unsuccessful in keeping that ear open. I had one semester of speech class in Kindergarten and the doctors were all amazed by how I learned to speak. I took the sounds I was hearing and put them to people’s lips. I guess I taught myself to read lips, to talk and understand what was said. It is a miracle. When I was almost 18 I had a bone conducting hearing aid implant into my skull behind my ear. I was one of the first 30 people in the US to have it done. I was an experiment that went well for a change.
The ears are connected to your mouth and your face bone. I believe since there were birth defects in the structuring of my ears, there were also birth defects in the forming of the cheeks and the jawbone. My teeth and jawbone are massively deformed. I have a very small mouth with lots of teeth, but it looks like only one tooth sticks out from the rest, but when you get in there it is a mess. When it comes to talking about my teeth it is a hard subject because there are so many emotional feelings connected to them.
I have always said if I could change anything I would change my teeth because it was the one thing I couldn’t control. Growing up with 3 to 8 kids, (Mom had three, she remarried and he had four, and then they had one together) there was not a lot of extra money floating around. I do not think my parents understood the kind of effect of not paying more attention to our teeth caused. The reason I say that is because a lot of people now say if your dad was in the military why he didn’t have them fixed. I don’t know, but I do know because he was in the military I got this great hearing aid.
So knowing my teeth would be a dream I progressed into public life where the kids were brutal. Being told someone wouldn’t date you because you had crooked teeth is not nice and if you hear it enough, you start to believe it. So my self-esteem and confidence has been shaped around the idea of what others thought of me. When you do not fit in, you want to so badly. I had become a master at hiding who I was. When I was fifteen I gave my heart to the Lord and vowed not to care what people thought of me. I stopped hiding my teeth when I talked and smile. I began to show the world the real me. It wasn’t until college that I started to like myself.
When you are afraid of others who put you down and constantly feed you negative thoughts, it is an amazing feeling to let go of their opinions. I started to honor my opinion of myself, and an uplifting feeling began to rise in me. When I graduated from college I had some hits to reality on my appearance in the professional world. I had an employer tell me I wasn’t going to get far with my looks until I did something about my mouth. In our world the “right” look can win people over. So I decide to go back to school instead of doing something about my teeth. I thought I could show them that I could make a difference in this world just the way I was.
It wasn’t until a few months ago that the dreams of my teeth being fixed started to come true. I had a mentor at church praying with me two consistent prayers: one that I would learn to believe in myself that I can achieve any goal, even in the professional world, and two was to believe that God could give me the miracle of a beautiful smile filled with straight teeth. Within three weeks Karen Barnes, a friend of over five years, had introduced me to a friend of hers who’s father is an Oral Surgeon. About two weeks later, I got introduced to Lauren Romano who has been touched by God and is a true angel of God. We had a deep heart felt conservation on the phone.
I think the hardest part is learning to receive. When you grow up learning to defend yourself and make life happen in the way you want it, you learn to do everything for yourself. I have made myself try to make the most of life and opportunities that present themselves to me. I have been able to travel the world, received two degrees, graduate from high school, own my own home, a car that is almost paid for, have money in the bank (to pay for a big school debt), recently engaged, and have a bright future ahead of me. I never thought I would be able to receive the miracle of getting my teeth fixed. Yet, it is a miracle and I have all of these other gifts in my life.
I have to add that it is the children I see who give me strength to remember to live everyday to the fullest in the most unconditional, pure, positive way possible. I think that is why I love being around children. GiGi, Lauren’s daughter, is also getting work done on her teeth. Every time I see her she is showing me her teeth and is constantly encouraging me to be strong. Always telling me that it doesn’t hurt too badly. J She is like her mother, a true heartwork angel too!
Thank you to all of you!
Talena